In This Article
- Why so much online business advice doesn’t work for mothers (and why that’s not your fault)
- How motherhood completely changed my business journey (the parts I don’t usually share)
- 4 practical strategies that helped me build a successful business while being the mum I wanted to be
- The mistakes mum entrepreneurs make when they try to “do it all”
- Tools and approaches that actually work when your time is limited and your sleep is broken
Introduction
If you’re a mum trying to build an online business and you keep seeing advice like “get up earlier” and “work harder” and thinking “…but when?”, this one is for you. Because a lot of the business advice out there is dominated by people who don’t have children, and sometimes what they’re telling you to do just doesn’t fit the season of life you’re actually in.
I’ve been there. I’ve felt the guilt, the exhaustion, and the creeping feeling that I must be failing because I can’t keep up with people who don’t have tiny humans depending on them. And I want to talk about it properly, because I don’t think we do that enough.
You can watch or listen to this episode of the She Means Business Show here.
Why Most Business Advice Doesn’t Work for Mums
I saw a reel the other day that said: “Steven Bartlett does not wipe bottoms.” And we need to talk about this.
So much of the business advice in the online space comes from people who are not parents. And that’s fine – they’re sharing what works for them. But when you’re waking up multiple times in the night, doing the school run, managing the mental load of keeping small humans alive, and trying to build something at the same time, being told to “just hustle harder” can make you feel like you’re fundamentally broken.
You’re not.
Before I had kids, I was working all the time. I was obsessed with my business, thinking about it constantly, completely fired up and focused. Then in October 2018, my son was born, and I went through this metamorphosis that nobody had warned me about.
All of a sudden, I wanted my days to be spent with him. All I wanted to do was push him around the park in a pram and snuggle on the sofa. I didn’t want to think about work. I didn’t want to show up on social media. I had nothing to say anymore because my whole world was him. I felt like I’d completely lost myself.
And then the guilt hit. When I was with him, I felt guilty I wasn’t working. When I was working, I felt guilty I wasn’t with him. I got stuck in that cycle for a really long time, feeling exhausted, inconsistent, and like I’d lost the drive I used to have.
The hardest part was the fact that I’m the main financial provider for my family. So it wasn’t like I could just step away. There were alarm bells ringing about the business at the same time as every part of me wanted to be present with my child.
This is the reality that so many mum entrepreneurs are living in. And it’s not a failure. It’s a completely different game to the one you were playing before kids. The sooner we accept that, the sooner we can stop beating ourselves up and start building something that actually works for the life we’re living right now.
4 Strategies That Helped Me Build a Business While Being the Mum I Wanted to Be
1. Recognise the season you’re in (and stop comparing it to someone else’s)
This was one of the biggest shifts for me. I kept seeing people online, saying things like “get up earlier, work harder,” and I’d think, “I’m already waking up fifty times in the night. There are literally not enough hours in the day.”
And then I’d feel like a failure. Like something was wrong with me.
The shift came when I realised: those people are not in the same season of life as me. They can’t possibly know what it feels like, and it’s unrealistic to expect them to give advice that fits my reality. That’s not a criticism of them, it’s just the truth.
Once I stopped measuring myself against people in a completely different situation, the guilt started to lift.
Action step: Think about whose advice you’re consuming right now. Does it come from someone in a similar season of life to you? If not, give yourself permission to take what’s useful and park the rest. Not all good advice is good advice for you right now. Write down three people or voices you follow who actually get your reality, and start prioritising their perspective.
2. Create non-negotiable boundaries around your time
I realised that trying to do everything, all the time, for everyone, was making me terrible at all of it. I needed to draw clear lines between mum time and work time, because when it was all blurry, I couldn’t get my head in the right place for either.
So I started creating non-negotiables. On Fridays, I didn’t go to the office. It was a mummy day. Non-negotiable. I didn’t respond to anything work-related. I was fully present with my kids. And during school holidays, I tried to take as much time off as possible to really be with them.
That boundary changed everything, because when I was working, I was actually working. And when I was with my kids, I was actually with them.
Action step: Set one non-negotiable boundary this week. Maybe it’s “no work after 3pm on Fridays” or “no emails during the school run” or “school holidays are protected family time.” It doesn’t have to be dramatic. It just has to be a line you don’t cross. Put it in your calendar, tell the people who need to know, and stick to it.
3. Give yourself grace (and permission to do your best, not someone else’s)
One of the biggest realisations I had when I became a mother was that I had to stop putting so much pressure on myself to be brilliant at everything simultaneously. I had to give myself permission to just do the best I could in the moment.
That doesn’t mean lowering your ambitions. It means being realistic about what’s possible right now and being kind to yourself about it. Because we can beat ourselves up endlessly, but it doesn’t actually make us more productive. It just makes us feel worse.
The question I started asking myself was: what can I do with the time I actually have available? Not the time I wish I had. Not the time I had before kids – the time I have right now.
Action step: At the start of each week, write down the three most important things you want to move forward in your business. Not ten or twenty, just three. Then ask yourself honestly: given my week, my kids, my energy levels, is this realistic? Adjust if needed. Completing three things well will always beat half-finishing ten things while feeling like you’re drowning.
4. Remember why your kids seeing this matters
On the hard days, when my kids were crying and clinging on to my leg saying “Mummy, don’t go to work,” I had to remind myself of something important.
Me building this business, me doing something I’m passionate about, me showing them what’s possible? That is one of the most powerful things they will ever witness. They get to see their mum creating something from nothing. They get to see what it looks like to go after your dreams while also being there for your family.
That is not a burden, it’s a gift you’re giving them.
We started our businesses because we wanted more. More freedom, more creativity, more financial independence, a better life for ourselves and our kids. That mission hasn’t changed just because the path looks different now.
Action step: Write a short letter to yourself (or to your kids) about why you’re building this business. What do you want it to create for your family? What do you want your children to learn from watching you do this? Keep it somewhere you can read it on the hard days. Because the hard days will come, and having a clear “why” makes all the difference.
Mistakes Mum Entrepreneurs Make (That Keep Them Stuck)
Mistake 1: Trying to follow advice that was never meant for your situation
Why this is a problem: You end up feeling like a failure because you can’t execute a strategy designed for someone with no dependents, unlimited time, and eight hours of unbroken sleep. It’s not that you’re not good enough, it’s that the advice doesn’t fit.
The truth: Be intentional about who you listen to. Seek out mentors and voices who understand what it’s like to build a business around a family. Park the advice that doesn’t serve you right now, even if it’s good advice in a different context.
Mistake 2: Refusing to set boundaries because you feel guilty either way
Why this is a problem: When work time and family time bleed into each other constantly, you never feel fully present in either. You work with half your brain on your kids, and you parent with half your brain on your inbox. Everyone gets the worst version of you, and you burn out.
The truth: Clear boundaries don’t mean you care less about either thing. They mean you’re protecting your ability to show up properly for both. Even one firm boundary can change the way your whole week feels.
Mistake 3: Waiting until the kids are older to take your business seriously
Why this is a problem: You keep postponing your dreams and telling yourself “I’ll start properly when they’re at school” or “when they’re more independent.” But the season keeps shifting and there’s always a reason to wait.
The truth: You don’t need to wait, you just need to build differently right now. Smaller windows of focused work, smarter systems, and realistic expectations can create real momentum even in the busiest season of motherhood. The mums who build successful businesses aren’t the ones who waited. They’re the ones who started with whatever time they had.
Tools and Resources That Actually Work for Time-Poor Mums
For protecting your time: Use time-blocking in your calendar to ring-fence your work hours. Treat them like appointments you can’t cancel. Even two focused hours a day can move your business forward significantly if you’re clear on your priorities.
For staying focused in short windows: Try the Pomodoro technique (25 minutes of focused work, 5-minute break). When you’ve only got naptime or the gap between school drop-off and pick-up, knowing how to drop into deep focus quickly is a superpower. Apps like Focus Keeper or a simple phone timer work perfectly.
For reducing the mental load: Use a project management tool like Trello, Asana, or Notion to get everything out of your head and into a system. When you can sit down and immediately see what needs doing next without having to remember it all, you save so much mental energy.
For building when you can’t be “on” all the time: Set up simple automations so your business can work when you’re not at your desk. A welcome email sequence, a scheduling tool for social media, and a simple lead magnet funnel mean your business keeps moving even during the school holidays.
For finding your people: Seek out communities of women building businesses who get the motherhood reality. You need people around you who understand that “I had a great week” might mean “I got three solid hours of work done and nobody cried.” That context matters.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can I really build a successful business with young kids?
Yes. But it will look different to building one without kids, and that’s okay. The key is working with the time and energy you actually have, not the time you wish you had. It might take longer and it might look messier. But it absolutely can work.
How do I deal with the guilt of working when my kids want me?
The guilt doesn’t fully disappear, but it gets easier when you set clear boundaries and remind yourself why you’re doing this. Your children seeing you build something meaningful is a powerful thing. And being fully present when you’re with them (rather than half-working, half-parenting all the time) actually helps with the guilt more than trying to be available 24/7.
What if I’ve lost all motivation since having kids?
This is so normal. I went through it after both of my children were born. It doesn’t mean you’re not an entrepreneur anymore. It means you’re in a season that demands a lot from you. The motivation often comes back, especially once your kids are a bit older and you reclaim some headspace. In the meantime, focus on small, consistent actions rather than waiting for the fire to return.
How much time do I realistically need to build a business?
You can make meaningful progress with as little as two to three focused hours a day, as long as you’re clear on your priorities and you’re spending that time on the things that actually move the needle. The quality of your focus matters far more than the quantity of hours.
Should I ignore all business advice from people who aren’t parents?
Not all of it. There’s plenty of great strategy and business knowledge that’s universally useful. The key is learning to filter. Take the strategic advice that makes sense for your business, and let go of the “just work harder and sleep less” messaging that doesn’t fit your life. You get to choose whose voice you let into your head.
You Can Be a Mum and Build Something Incredible
Here’s what I want you to take away from this:
You are not failing because you can’t keep up with people who don’t have small children depending on them. You are in a different season of life, and that season requires a different approach, not a different level of worthiness.
Set your boundaries. Give yourself grace. Focus on what you can do with the time you have. And remember that your kids getting to watch you do this is one of the most empowering things you can give them.
It’s going to go by in the blink of an eye. And you can do both. I truly believe that.
💕 Carrie xx
Ready to go deeper? Join me for the free Ideas to Income Challenge where I’ll show you how to build a business that actually works for the life you’re living right now.
