In this article
- Why your mindset, not your strategy, is usually the thing keeping you stuck
- The simple daily practice I used to stop sabotaging myself
- 5 steps to program your mind for the success you actually want
- The biggest mindset myths that keep brilliant women playing small
- Tools and resources to help you make this real, starting today
Introduction
Have you ever had a big dream tucked away inside you, the kind that lights you up just thinking about it, and then watched yourself talk yourself right out of it? You come up with the idea, you get excited, and then in comes the voice. Who are you to do this? What if it doesn’t work? Maybe later, when you’re more ready.
I know that voice so well, because for years it ran my life and kept me completely stuck. The good news? You can learn to take back control, and it changes everything.
In this article I’m sharing exactly how I programmed my mind for success, and how you can too. You can watch or listen to this episode of the She Means Business Show here.
Why your mindset is the real thing holding you back
Years ago I gave a TEDx talk, and I opened it with a little experiment. There were around a thousand people in the room, and I asked for one volunteer to come up on stage. One person stood up. His name was Ian.
It turned out Ian had nearly died a few years earlier, and in that hospital bed he’d decided he was going to live full out and say yes to life. Out of a thousand people, the one who volunteered was the one who’d decided to stop holding back.
And that’s the whole point. So often we trip ourselves up, hold back because of fear, and quietly live a life that’s so much smaller than the one we’re capable of.
I learned this the hard way. When I first started my business, I became more and more negative and self-defeating. The optimistic, go-getting person I’d been just disappeared. I’d have an idea and immediately shoot it down. The stress of living so out of alignment with what I really wanted got so bad I ended up with heart palpitations, on an ECG machine, seeing a specialist.
Here’s why this matters for you: your thoughts shape your actions, your actions shape your results, and your results shape your income, your confidence, and your freedom. You can have the best strategy in the world, but if your mind is working against you, nothing moves forward.
How to program your mind for success: 5 steps
1. Catch your thoughts in the act
You can’t change what you can’t see. So the first step is simply becoming aware of what you’re telling yourself all day long.
I started noticing every time I thought something like, “Who is going to come to this website? Who are you to give advice to anyone? This is a ridiculous idea.” Once you start listening, you’ll be amazed at how often the negative voice pipes up.
Action step: For the next three days, just notice. Every time you catch a negative thought about yourself or your business, mentally tag it: “There it is again.”
2. Interrupt the negative voice and replace it
Awareness alone isn’t enough. The magic happens when you stop the thought and swap it for something that actually moves you forward.
I literally used to tell those thoughts to shut up, and then replace them with thoughts that empowered me. I still do this to this day, because it is so easy to get stuck in a loop of saying awful things to yourself without realising the impact they’re having.
Mini-script: When you catch yourself saying “Who am I to do this?”, swap it for “I’m someone who’s learning, and I will figure this out.”
3. Program your subconscious with guided visualisations
This is one of my absolute favourites. I started listening to guided visualisations to program my subconscious mind for success, and I genuinely love them so much that I now record my own, so I can hear my own voice affirming what I’m working towards.
There is something magical about it. When I could get my mind certain that I could make something happen, I always somehow found a way.
Action step: Find one short guided visualisation and listen to it first thing in the morning or last thing at night for a week.
4. Get crystal clear on what you actually want (and why)
Success is no accident. Living an incredible life is no accident. You have to do it on purpose, and that starts with knowing exactly what you want, why you want it, and the kind of person you need to become to make it happen.
When I got clear on my big goals, things I once thought were impossible, like writing a book, speaking on huge stages, building a business that made millions, they started to become real.
Prompt: Ask yourself, “If I knew I couldn’t fail, what would I go after this year?” Write down whatever comes up, even if it feels ridiculous.
5. Give yourself permission to not know how
This is the one that frees so many women. You do not need to know every step before you begin. You just need to get clear on the goal and trust that you’ll figure out the how along the way.
I gave myself permission to not know how, but to believe that somehow I’d work it out. And I always have.
Action step: Take one tiny, imperfect action towards your goal this week, before you feel ready.
Common mistakes and myths to avoid
Myth 1: “I’ll feel ready eventually.” You won’t, and that’s okay. When I was asked to do that TEDx talk, every part of my body wanted to say no because it felt so terrifying. I said yes anyway. Confidence comes from doing the thing, not from waiting around to feel brave.
Mistake 2: Believing your negative self-talk is just “being realistic.” It isn’t realism, it’s fear wearing a sensible disguise. Those thoughts feel true, but they’re just thoughts, and you have the power to question them and replace them.
Mistake 3: Thinking you need to know exactly how before you start. Most of the limits we run into are the ones we place on ourselves. Clarity on what you want comes first. The how reveals itself as you move.
Tools and resources to help you
- Guided visualisations. Use existing ones, or record your own affirmations in your own voice. This was a total game changer for me.
- The “primary aims” exercise from The E-Myth by Michael Gerber. Imagine walking into a room and realising it’s your own funeral. What do you want people to say about the life you lived, the person you were, and what you achieved? Let that guide the goals you set today.
- A self-talk journal. Spend a week writing down your recurring negative thoughts, then write the empowering version next to each one.
- A vision board. That TEDx talk was on mine long before it happened. Put your big, audacious goals somewhere you’ll see them every day.
A little proof it works: When I committed to this, the negative, stuck version of me transformed. I went on to write She Means Business and have it published with Hay House, build a multi-million pound business, launch my own stationery company, and share stages with people like Tony Robbins and Dean Graziosi. None of it happened by accident. It happened because I changed my mind first.
FAQ
What if I’ve been stuck for years? That’s completely okay, and it’s not too late. I was stuck for a long time too, and the moment I became aware of what I was doing to myself, I was able to shift gears and move forward. Awareness is the turning point.
How long does it take to change my mindset? You can start interrupting negative thoughts today. The deeper shift builds with consistency, so think of it as a daily practice rather than a one-time fix. Small and steady wins.
What if I don’t know what my big goal is yet? Start with the question, “If I knew I couldn’t fail, what would I go after?” You don’t need the whole plan, just a direction that excites you.
Do guided visualisations actually work? For me, absolutely. Getting my mind certain that something was possible was often the thing that helped me find a way to make it happen.
Conclusion
If there’s one thing I want you to take away, it’s this: you are almost never stuck because of a lack of strategy. You’re stuck because of what’s going on in your mind, and that is something you have the power to change. You are so much more capable than your fears would have you believe, and you are absolutely not behind.
You have just one life in which to achieve everything you’re going to achieve, so let’s make it count, on purpose.
💕 Carrie xx
