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5 tips to ensure you show up authentically

Authentically

Some of us are compelled to feel that we must have our “work face” and our “personal face” and we are often in a dilemma of having to wear a mask on some occasions to differentiate between the two.  But what if when we ‘showed up,’ there was just us, the real us and this made a positive impact on all areas of our lives?

Throughout my career, I have heard leaders informing people that they should leave their home life at the door as they enter the office, and whilst I can see some instances where this may impact productivity, how realistic is it to do this?

As a working parent, there have been times when I have felt the need to hide the fact that childcare is a problem, or have agreed to attend an evening or early morning event then panicked about who will look after my sons.  On the flip side, there have been times where I have returned home in the evening still distracted with the events at work and unable to get some tasks or people out of my head.  As a working woman, I have often tried to hide the fact that I was a working woman.  As a leader, I have sometimes tried to be one of the team, usually due to my age!

The turning point for me was seeing myself as a whole person: a wife, a mum, a daughter and a friend with home and work responsibilities. I came to see that the skills and experience I gained both in and outside of the workplace allowed me to grow as a person and impact all areas of my life – the transferable skills that we are told to use to sell ourselves during an interview process.  This whole-person view also allowed me to look at the bigger picture of my life and not segment myself into the work-life conundrum, because actually I have only one life. Work plays a big part in it and the balance is not about work-life, but about how I prioritise and focus my time, energy and attention accordingly in my life in general.  Think of the difference it would make if we achieved life balance, instead of work-life balance…if we realised that everything is intertwined and a big part of us rather than two separate entities!

From this “one me,” “one life viewpoint,” I live my life – my entire life as a whole person. Here are 5 key areas that allow me to show up authentically in all areas of my life:

 1 circlue

KNOW YOUR VISION 

I am clear on what my mission is, my sense of purpose and what I am creating.   I know what I am passionate about and why.  I access this power not only for my career but in every area of my life.  I do so by focusing on a powerful question: “Who am I?”

2 circle

BE CLEAR ON YOUR STRATEGY

I have a clear focus on how I “show up,” day-in and day-out. I have built my resilience and my ability to handle any situation with ease and deep confidence, AND I have created habits that support and renew me on a daily and weekly basis.  I no longer have the different masks. There is no longer the “work me” and the “home me,” there is just me.  I am clear that this created a ‘Marmite’ effect for some people, but knowing this has allowed me to build my confidence and my resilience, because I am no longer focused on what others think of me. Instead, I examine my actions and ask, “How is this getting me closer to my vision?”

3 circle

HAVE A STRONG MINDSET 

I have overcome the fears, doubts, limiting beliefs and insecurities that were holding me back. I have created a new set of empowering beliefs to support me as I create the next stage of my life.  Not an easy task, and certainly more and more will come from this.  I had a strong fear of failure and I realized that it was stopping me from taking action and taking risks.  By turning this around into a strong desire to succeed, elements of failure are now stepping stones on the road to success and each and every time I fail, which I do, I learn from it and grow.

4 cirlce 

FILL YOUR TOOLBOX 

I have identified any skills and strengths I need to build and work on them regularly to equip me with all of the tools I need to get to the next level.  By no means am I perfect, but by recognising what my strengths and development areas are, I know where to focus my time and attention, where to seek help and where I can support and help others.  I also know which of my transferable skills I can utilise and adapt to suit different situations.

5 circle

BE AWARE OF WHAT AND WHO GIVES YOU ENERGY 

I have optimised my environment. I am clear on which people, places and things FILL me with energy (energy angels) and which people, places and things DRAIN me of energy. I actively remove those (energy-vampires) from my life.  I know who I like to be surrounded by and who I do not want to be surrounded by.  I know my ideal clients. I know which people to call upon when I have mad, hair-brain ideas and I know that in order to bring out the best in me, I need to interact with a variety and diverse range of people each with different skills and experiences.

By focusing on these 5 areas, I know I am authentic, I know how and when I show up, and I know the difference they have made in my life.

If you could focus on 5 areas of your life what would they be and why?

ABOUT THE AUTHOR NEW

KELLY FRYER // Founder of Chrysalis Consulting Ltd

Kelly Fryer lives in Cambridgeshire and is Mum to twin sons. Kelly is Founder and CEO of Chrysalis Consulting – a Human Capital Development Consultancy specialising in organisational culture change. You can connect with her on www.chrysalis-consulting.co.uk or on LinkedIn.

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