I was once at an event when the speaker told a story of a moment that would forever change the way he saw himself. He once was at a company event with his wife. They had the chance to hang out with some of the leaders in the company. He was extremely excited about getting the chance to do so. Later when he and his wife returned to their hotel room, he asked his wife excitedly, “How cool was it that we got a chance to hang with them?!” His wife replied, “It was great, but as long as you continue to see yourself as different from them, you will never be where they are.” That reply from his wife opened his eyes. He suddenly realized that he had been standing in his own way. When he changed the way he saw and spoke to himself, his business and his life changed for the better.
This story really moved me. I realized that I too had been standing in my own way. Not only did I become determined to get out of my own way, I knew I’d help others do the same.
Here are 3 things that I find helpful:
CLEARLY SEE YOURSELF WHERE YOU WANT TO BE
In order to do this you must be clear on what it is you really want. I’m sure you have heard that clarity is power. It is easier to find a path when you are clear on where it is you want to go. Once you know what it is you want, develop a clear mental image of yourself having achieved what you want. You may even set aside time each day for visualization. Clearly seeing yourself where it is you want to be and knowing that you deserve to be there will help you avoid self-sabotaging behavior, stay out of your own way and keep going when times get tough.
CHALLENGE NEGATIVE SELF-TALK
First, realize that no one is immune to negative self-talk. Some of us have just gotten really good at challenging it and moving on. There is no need to beat yourself up. Simply begin to challenge the negative things you’ve been saying to yourself. So you’re not perfect. None of us are. It’s fine to acknowledge the things you want to improve. But, if you find yourself being excessively critical, it’s time to start challenging your inner critic. Ask yourself if what you are hearing is helpful. If it’s not, ignore it.
REPLACE NEGATIVE SELF-TALK
Often when we start this process, we struggle because we feel we are lying to ourselves when we begin to speak to ourselves in a positive voice. If this is the case for you, know that you don’t have to make huge leaps. Appreciate where you are and start small. You can start by saying something as simple as “I am getting better and better each day.”
You have so much you want to accomplish. You deserve it all, so don’t be the one standing in your own way. Perfection isn’t necessary. You don’t have to have all the answers at this very moment. Give yourself grace while you continue to take inspired action. You got this!
TIFFANY BROOKS // Founder of Inspire Uplift Empower
Tiffany has a passion for supporting other female entrepreneurs who want to build their businesses while honoring their priorities and enjoying the journey. She truly wants to see more people living their truth and defining their own success. You can find her at www.inspireupliftempower.com and on Facebook.