The Blog

Oprah’s secret for overcoming struggles and getting what you want

“Just because you are struggling does not mean you are failing. Every great success requires some kind of struggle.”

(Click to tweet)

Have you ever gone through phases where you’re really struggling and you see other business owners and people around you who are doing amazing things and they make it look so easy and effortless and you can’t help but think, “why is it so easy for them, when I feel like I’m struggling?”

I’ve felt like this before and then I came to the realisation that you never normally see or hear about the struggle, determination or work that went into someone else’s success – you normally just see the end result and the amazing achievements. When I realised this it made me feel so much better – I realised I wasn’t alone, I realised that it wasn’t just me – everyone goes through ups and downs.

I started to realise that being an entrepreneur was a bit like being on a roller coaster ride in the dark – there are ups and downs, it can be scary as hell, but exciting and exhilarating at the same time! And quite often you have no idea what’s around the next corner, but you keep going anyway.

Sometimes when you’re struggling it can feel like you’re failing or like things are hopeless, but the truth is it’s just part of the adventure.

I’ve also come to realise that most of the struggles I face are created in my head. Even though I want things to be amazing and I want to make progress, I feel like I can’t because my mind is stuck in ‘struggle mode’.

Back in 2009 I came across a video of Oprah talking about how she overcame obstacles she faced at the beginning of her career and how she attracted to herself what she wanted (watch here). So when I faced struggles I decided to try it and it really helped me! I learnt how to deal with and overcome struggling so that I could get on with making progress. The steps I learnt are so effective and I’ve seen massive shifts within a matter of days and even minutes before by following them.

Here’s what I do when I feel like I’m struggling:

One: I surrender.

I say to myself “I surrender all” – I surrender the struggling, the doubts, the worries. As I say those words I imagine my struggles being taken away from me. I give up the mental fight I’m having with the struggle. Words are such a powerful tool for helping us to shift our mindset and thinking. Sometimes if I feel like everything has become overwhelming and I’m starting to struggle or if I’m facing a struggle with a particular thing like money, or thinking I’m not good enough then I’ll take time in the morning and at night – it might only be 5 minutes, but I’ll close my eyes, take a deep breath and say “I surrender all” over and over and I mean it when I say it, I feel it – I feel my struggles being surrendered. I also use other affirmations like, “I release all blocks and know that I deserve good now/or I know that it will all work out in the right way at the right time.” Make the time to do this daily if you feel like you’re struggling. It’s surprisingly effective.

Two: Ask for guidance.

I have found that asking for guidance helps – just saying, “what do I need to do?” or “I am open to receiving guidance – what would you have me do?” can help you to shift your mindset. When I say these things I feel like I’m telling myself, “hey, you know what, I’m ready to move on from this struggle, I’m ready to see a way out.” I don’t think it matters who you’re asking – you could be simply asking yourself, your subconscious mind, the universe, a higher power, God – whatever you believe in. I personally imagine that I’m asking the universe – something bigger than myself, I think it’s the act of asking that is what makes this powerful and effective. When you ask this question, you’re taking a step back from it all, you shift your perspective from thinking, “I’m struggling,” or “why are things so hard” to “what can I do?” or “I’m open to seeing things different, what should I do?” and that can have a profound impact.

Three: Think about what you’re grateful for.

I didn’t actually include this in the video, but I think it’s so important. I find that when I’m struggling I tend to focus my energy on all the negative things and I forget about all the amazing things going on. So, I try to remember to take a couple of minutes (normally before I go to sleep) to focus my energy on the things I’m grateful for. I find that this is so effective and helps to pull me out of my struggling, negative mindset.

Like I explain in the video, these things helped me so much and I hope they help you too. Struggle is a state of mind, which is create by our thoughts and by how we choose to respond to the situations we find ourselves faced with. When we feel like we’re struggling, we’re directing our energy and attention on to negative thoughts and this creates more blocks and more struggle. So the key to overcoming struggles and blocks is to start by changing what’s going on internally – what’s going on with our thoughts. It might take a minute, a day, a week or a month, but if you commit to practicing the steps above every day I think you will see massive shifts.

So, whenever you feel like you’re struggling give these steps a try!

Leave a comment below and share your advice and tips on how you get through dips and overcome struggles.

Carrie x

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